Scoutmaster Minute 2/9/00

Calvin Gray

This is the transcript of a recent episode of Jeopardy!

COMMENTATOR: Welcome to Jeopardy! And the host of Jeopardy, here's Alex
Trebek. (Applause).

ALEX: Thank you. And let's welcome our contestants, Connie, Tom and
Gary. You all know how the game's played. So let's take a look at our
Jeopardy categories:

Egyptian Art, Has-Been College Football Dynasties, U.S. Foreign Policy,
Famous Con Men, Greek Mythology, Hilarious Sports Excuses, Recruiting
Experts, and Diet Fads.

Connie, you're our defending champion, so you control the board.

CONNIE: Alex, Has-Been College Football Dynasties for $200.

ALEX: The answer is...This football program hasn't won a national
championship in 30 years, and hasn't had a top 10 finish in 17
years, but their fans think they're on par with Florida State and Penn
State...Connie.

CONNIE: What is Georgia?

ALEX: No. Tom?

TOM: What is Texas?

ALEX: Correct. The Longhorns' last national title in the final AP poll
was in 1969, and last top 10 finish was in 1983. Tom, you control the
board.

TOM: Let's stay with Has-Been College Football Dynasties for $600.

ALEX: The answer is...This football program bills itself as a national
title contender for the 2000 season, yet is coming off a three-game
losing streak and hasn't scored an offensive touchdown in its last 10
quarters...Gary.

GARY: What is Texas?

ALEX: Yes, Texas. I could see all of you buzzed in very quickly, but
Gary barely got in there first. Remember, the Longhorns offense
didn't score a touchdown in the last half of the A&M game, and all of
the Nebraska and Arkansas debacles. Gary, you control.

GARY: Alex, let's try Famous Con Men for $800.

ALEX: The answer is...This American made outlandish promises to his
blind followers, selling them a bill of goods and leading them
to believe prosperity was around the corner...Gary?

GARY: Who was David Koresh?

ALEX: No...Connie?

CONNIE: Who was Jim Jones?

ALEX: No. (Long pause). BOOP-BOOP!

ALEX: The answer is, Who was Mack Brown? Mack Brown, the Texas football
coach. I can tell the way you're hitting your hand on your head and
nodding, that's something you should have known. Just remember,
contestants, it's good advice to go with your first instinct.
Gary, you still control.

GARY: Alex, Recruiting Experts for $400.

ALEX: The answer is...His football recruiting lists always excite fans
in the Hill Country, but the majority fail to live up to the
hype...Gary?

GARY: Who is the Amazing Kreskin?

ALEX: No. Connie?

CONNIE: Who is Bobby Burton?

ALEX: Yes. Bobby Burton, the man who never met a UT commitment he
couldn't over-hype. Connie, you control.

CONNIE: Hilarious Sports Excuses for $600.  (WOO-WOO!)

ALEX: The Daily Double! Connie, you have $400.  How much will you wager?

CONNIE: I'll risk all of it, Alex.

ALEX: All of it, OK. The answer is...Mack Brown blamed this on a College
Station hotel for UT's loss to Texas A&M.

CONNIE: What is no strawberry cream cheese for the breakfast bagels,
and...(dramatic pause) lukewarm orange juice?

ALEX: Correct! Both were blamed for the Longhorns' 20-16 loss. We'll be
back to meet the contestants right after this.